Stress can come in many forms. We feel stress whenever the demands placed on us are greater than the resources we have available to help us meet those demands. Each of us learns how to handle stress by relying on our own skills and abilities. You can think of those things as your personal resources. Other resources we have might include support from friends and family, as well as from individuals and organizations in our communities.

Sometimes stress is a good thing. It can encourage us to obtain more knowledge and learn new skills. When this happens, we feel good about ourselves and our accomplishments. But too much stress can be overwhelming. It can make us feel frustrated, fatigued, and at times, even helpless. When this occurs, adding one more stressor to our life can tip the scales and make us feel incapable of handling even the simplest expectations of our daily lives.

Stress Management Tips and Tools

All of these techniques are most effective when used on a regular, routine basis.

Listen to music

Many people find that listening to music can be very relaxing. It is especially helpful if you are able to do this when you will not be distracted. You may want to dim the lights or light a candle. Whether you prefer Mozart or Muzak, choose music that you find appealing. Some people enjoy listening to the sounds of nature, such as the ocean, bird songs, or waterfalls. There are smartphone apps (Calm or Headspace), streaming services, and even CDs providing music and playlists you might like, as well as nature sounds. For some, the use of headphones can help promote a relaxing listening experience.

Fitness and relaxation exercises

Physical exertion can release a lot of built-up tension. Stretching exercises, such as yoga, have been shown to be beneficial. Many physical therapists teach people a relaxation technique that consists of tightening and relaxing various sets of muscles in a systematic way. Lie down in a comfortable position. Begin tightening the muscles in your face, holding the contraction for 10-15 seconds. Release the contraction and let your face muscles relax. Continue this process by slowly moving down through the rest of your body, tightening and releasing individual sets of muscles from your head to your toes. Relaxation exercises are most effective when practiced for at least 15-20 minutes daily.

Communication

Sharing your feelings with someone who cares for you can be a real comfort. There is value to be found in feeling that you are heard and understood. It is especially helpful when your partner in conversation does not frequently interrupt you or offer you too much advice.

Group and individual counseling

You may wish to seek out the services of professionals who specialize in stress reduction. Your healthcare provider or community health center may be able to suggest workshops, support groups, or individual therapists who can provide stress management instruction.

Meditation

By meditation, we do not mean “thinking about things.” In fact, meditation could be described as “not thinking about things.” Meditation is a form of exercise for relaxing the mind. Place yourself in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and remain quiet and still. Become aware of your thoughts, almost as if they were written on ticker-tape or scrolling across the bottom of a TV screen that you see in your “mind’s eye.” Let these thoughts “scroll away” and vanish. Repeat this process as new thoughts enter your mind and then vanish. Meditation sessions may be gradually increased over time from 10 to 30 minutes.

Biofeedback

Biofeedback is a technique that uses a monitoring device for displaying information about how your body is functioning, such as your heart rate or muscle tension levels. As you watch the monitor, a therapist will guide you through some relaxation exercises. The monitor immediately shows you which kinds of exercise produce the best effects. Generally requiring more than one session, biofeedback can teach you how to relax on your own without the use of a monitor.

Self-help videos and books

Additional materials describing each of these techniques, as well as many others, are available at bookstores, libraries, and on the Internet.

For more information on stress relief for Alphas, visit the Big Fat Reference Guide to Alpha-1.